TOO MANY THOUGHTS

TOO MANY THOUGHTS

What does one do when they start their day with oodles of thoughts cluttering their minds creating seemingly impossible functional thinking processes? By OODLES I mean loads of nonsensical overpowering thoughts from deep contemplative to Muy estupido thoughts. That is exactly where I find myself today.

It began when I started to take the trash cans to the road. I saw no other trash cans on the curb. GEESH! Wrong day! Coffee was not the answer to my quandary. Facebook, Instagram, and X were not helpful. They simply filled my mind with conglomerated poop. So now I feel as if I have shit for brains.

Talking to my Lord about the purpose of life and my role as one of His followers calms my spirit. This conversation is necessary for my sanity in facing the everyday of life. Somedays I hear from Him but today my cluttered brain struggles to sense His divine presence in me. I know He is here allowing me to savor this moment of mind clearing. It is time to purge this brain of the fecal matter. Thanking Jesus for a mind that thinks, even when it feels like copious overthinking, is important to me. I know my name. I recognize my family. I have been witness to sad stories of friends, patients and family who have lost that recognition. He speaks to me, “Fear not.” I trust Him to keep my mind open to hear Him and to think, remember and process with wisdom and clarity. I begin my hurkle durkle mornings praying my family prayer. It is what I call my 3 P’s prayer, my Prayer for Protection, Provision and Pleasure. I know He hears and honors my prayers. So Be It!

Decluttering my bedroom sounds like a terrific start to my day only to feel discouraged and defeated entering the room. I picked up dirty clothes and threw them in the washer. I would heat up the soup I made yesterday if the pan were not dirty in the sink. Off to the massage table to exercise. Nope, not now. I need to rest. Back to the recliner to rest. OOPS! I had better take my blood pressure meds. Done. I will wear my iWatch today to count my steps. What steps? You will have no steps if you sit in the recliner all day. All righty then, I will get busy and accomplish something. Hubby has the news on the TV. I hate the news. This political circus is bizarre. I ride the elephant in the circus, but my elephant sometimes bucks like a donkey. I heard one politician say, “Country over party.” I love that statement John Fedderman. Is there any way to program all politicians and America to genuinely think Country over party? My neighbor is walking her dog. Cute little white dog. I love dogs! Having a dog at this stage in my life is not wise. But I love dogs. Dog spelled backwards is GOD. I am confident Dogs give us vision into the Divine. I want a dog. I do not need nor want that responsibility. I will just love all the dogs of family and friends. That will be enough. I would really like to have a monkey. Jane Goodall died this week. She loved Chimpanzees. Hubby went to the garage to neighborhood gaze. I turned off the TV. Back to the bedroom to begin decluttering. I looked at the “stuff” and what if someone wants this or that runs through my mind. Look at those antique books. I bet my brother Ray, or my brother Wen, would want those. Then again, maybe I should keep them, so their houses are not cluttered with Firestarter books. I really need to mend a shirt for my Charlie girl. I pray protection over all my family. I check “find my friends” so I at least know which state my family is in. I think I am in the state of Confusion at this point. That is not funny. I dream of all the places I want to live. I search Zillow. I search VRBO for places to visit. I check the “deals” on Amazon. I read the obituaries. Good. My name is not there. I redecorate my house in my mind. I sell all my antique dishes in my mind. I sell everything I own and start all over, in my mind. I clean out my closet in my mind. The idea of having only clothes I like sounds marvelous. I feel guilty that I have not made birthdays special this year for family. Kahri turns eighteen in a few days; hubby will be seventy-eight the next day and I have done nothing. I want birthdays to feel magical. Let me think. I check Ancestry to see how old Aunt Billie will be. She will be eighty-eight at the end of the month. Have I paid all the bills for the month? I should double check. I really need to do the dishes. I want to take some soup to my neighbor. I miss my family. I would love to go to Indy to see Rae and fam, but travel is difficult. The washer stopped. I should transfer the clothes to the dryer. I think I would like to get something to eat and have a cup of hot Apple cider spiked with orange juice and grape juice. Should I have soup for lunch or eggs? Maybe I will just stay in my recliner and think about what I need to do today. And the answer? I will pick up my laptop and draft a story about Too Many Thoughts.

Janie Roberts Davis 10/02/2025